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• Quotation from “Schizophrenic Journey” by James Osowski 
• As a Schizophrenic daily, I have to reprogram my thinking to establish my New Reality.

• Head for the hills, only then can you conquer the mountain. Spend days in the dark forest to see where you’re going... Make education your priority, not prosperity, and prosperity will follow. You will experience a prosperity and richness only the truly free have seen. So, who is free, are you? Come with me on a journey only your spirit will understand. Change your thoughts to something in line with the forces at work in reality, and reality will materialize. Together forever, it’s crucial you find your way today, we miss you. You have much to offer the world around you. Let your spirit speak to your mind and follow the prompts, and you will find your lot in life. *Note  

• Everyone was given an instinct for what is right; follow your hunches, first slowly, then when you’ve learned to trust, faster. Connect with the people around you; find out what they need. Lose you in filling their needs and yours will be met. I’ve found that the help services of psychiatry to be my greatest asset, along with listening to your loved ones and talking to them about where your mind is. 

•  It was a long hard road. These days I realize my strength comes from Good relationships with our loved ones; along with the professional guidance and with medication. I believe all religions to have their merit; having something outside ourselves, brings strength. I believe strongly in self-help, without our own efforts no one can pull us out of our ↨  

• Pit.  

• Quotation from Napoleon Hill “Riches” YouTube 
• Napoleon Hill’s lesson on “The Master key System for Riches” “Whatever the mind can conceive and believe the mind can achieve.” He then states that at birth we are all given a choice of Two (2) envelopes, one of Riches, and one of Failure. In which we have the Power to direct the outcome of our Successes. 

• Procure a notebook in which we record 1) “Our desire for success; what will it look like?” Then write; 

• 2) “What will I give to acquire my desired end?” 

• Then Memorize them and Speak then 12 times daily; include also this prayer after each statement;  
• “I ask not for divine providence for more riches, but the wisdom to know the difference to control my mind to direct my life to whatever end I so desire.” 

• James Osowski 
• I no longer see the future events except those in my personal life-I will keep silence yet; should they come back. No more somber dreary life for me. Peace by long-suffering now the gift I received I now give it back to those who want it. I no longer partake in those heavenly journeys or in those hellacious places. I should wait now for my day there. Please don’t rush me to that end, let me live my life in peace, not alone, but with tearful joy let me join you in yours’.   
• I said I would not leave you in the darkness, join me then in a walk towards clarity. You are Victor; should anyone ask. Now let me ask you; what are the pure joys in your life? What are your joys? So, smile with me awhile and face your trials. An uphill journey-we see a light; a light in your loved one’s eyes. Let them have his or her day in the sun. Determinately I refuse those base selfish desires and how they wish to destroy my place. We arrive then at this place; where are we now but inside. Safe, Warm, and Loved; “I will not leave again!” 

• Napoleon Hill 
• Bad habits can lead to self-destructive effects. 
• Develop at least four (4) good habits per year 
• Eat healthily 
• Sleep well 
• Network with like-minded people 
• “Nothing will change for you until you do.” 
• Think with Google Jason Spero Aug 2018 #Emerging Technologies #Mobile, #Experience and Design 
• Gain insight through Search to understand Audience wants.  
• Tailor accordingly through Automation Technologies for lifelong satisfied clients 
• Brian Harris Author Top list building Strategies of 2017 
• Grow e-mail list (top three Steps) 
• Set-up List Goal @listgoal.com 
• Install Action API 
• Be the BONUS 
• As Napoleon Hall states Describe “What you will do to acquire your goal?” 
• I am offering my Google Ad experience to a community longstanding Marketer/Developer free; to establish my own reputation and create a good Portfolio. 
• If you Stated your Goal, “What will you offer to achieve your desired end? 
• I am drawing on my Knowledge of recreating a new Reality because my Schizophrenic delusions, paranoia, and fears have kept me from attaining my desired end. 
•  
• *Suffering several years with destructive Delusions I learned to reprogram my thinking drawing on knowledge gained through people like Napoleon Hall, Brian Harris, Jason Spero, and my Representative @ “Agent” Bryan of List Goal. 

 James Osowski, Osowski Publications @http://lionjim-gordianknotblogs.blogspot.com/  

Sept 2018 

#List building, Riches Strategy, Good Habits 

My Amazon pages

My 1st Book on Amazon.com

Enter the dark caverns, within this book as I alumina the perplexing vexes Schizophrenia predisposes one too.

See this not yet visible to the human eye.

climb out of any pit you 

were thrown into. 

View the 

future;

as never before. 

Stay tuned. A preview of my latest...

Schizophrenic Journey

The Book of Victor

By: James Osowski

Osowski Publications

@www.to-the-top.biz

o August 2013 ©James Osowski 3rd Edition o Lulu Publications & Osowski Publications o 1st Edition 2009 & 2nd Edition 2011 o 2nd Edition Lulu Publications 2011 o 1th Edition Osowski Publications 2013

2013 all Rights Reserved Copyright © James J T Osowski

This work may not be copied, reproduced in any fashion

without “Expressed Permission” from Osowski Publications.

ISBN 13: 978-0-578-13611-0

Dedicated for:

Mom & Dad

Too: You!

In appreciation of

Being up before dawn

Crisp crunch of the snow

Beneath my feet

Making firewood the crack and split-ting

I bring the warmth to our family

Even in disjointedness, there are joys

To say the least,

My spiritual battles are

Entertaining

To say it best.

Connectedness with the loves

Of our life

Admiration from a loving family

The bright smile of our eight year old

As he learns to catch the football

All these things and more

Bring me happiness

Driving to the store

A walk in the wilderness

The treasure of our thirty-year-old daughter

The mysteries of seventeen

And finding identity

And you!

Table of Contents

1. MY STRUGGLES WITH LIFE AND SCHIZOPHRENIA

I provide a brief overview of my life; my developmental years; the onslaught of my mental illness. I provide likely examples of my growing up experiences and allude to how this may have shaped how the Phantom; schizophrenia, first reared its ugly head.

2. THE TRUTH IS TOLD ...EATING MY WORDS...

 Preface

Why are there such a high percentage of America’s mental health patients incarcerated, misdiagnosed, and forever trapped by their mental torment? The answers are divergent, as complex as, say, there are various schizophrenics.

Schizophrenia sschiz·o·phre·ni·a

schiz·o·phre·ni·a [skìtsə frnee ə] n

1. p sychiatry psychiatric disorder affecting the coherence of the personality: a severe psychiatric disorder with symptoms of emotional instability, detachment from reality, often with delusions and hallucinations, and withdrawal into the self

2. o ffensive term: an offensive term for contradictory or conflicting attitudes, behavior, or qualities [Early 20th century. Coined from schizo- + Greek phrēn “mind” (see phreno-).

3. ]Encarta ® World English Dictionary © & (P) 1998-2004 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

shows itself in a person’s life in a way that is indicative of their life’s experiences. My experiences of a deep spiritual upbringing colored my mental torment in the form of a spiritual nature, a world of spirits distorted and disjointing me from the world and reality. Here in the Book are my stories of how spirits controlled my thoughts, my behaviors and me and how medication and good relationships has helped me overcome its effects.

I start with my stories, stories of how I developed, and how the mysteries of a “normal life” so eluded me, and how a chemical imbalance in the brain

xi

can determine how well we function. People with mental health problems are generally very complex intelligent individuals who simply need understanding and guidance. Within and between the lines of this book you will find yourself or the person you love; even the psycho you see on the street. There were aspects of my life that were very normal yet I was not functioning well. My life brought me the fruits of despair and mental torment. I intend that you should understand what makes us tick. We hope that you or a loved one might see a life of peace and contentment. I would also like to dispel all the bizarre misconceptions people in this country have about what schizophrenics are like…

I first had the notion to write a book as a teenager battling with life. Little did I know my entire journey thus far has been preordained to this end … this book? On the other hand, was this book my means of self-discovery? It is a mirror for schizophrenics and the people who love and want to help them. My story’s and my schizophrenia produced such outlandish imagining that was so real they took away my identity. I became lost in the shuffle of life and did not find anything like a life worth living until I found the proper medication because people began to take an interest in how I was doing.

My story is a mirror for anyone to see there is hope, and there are answers if you look; we can still be in one accord; even in the completion of this book. As you have journeyed through your life and read my book you may find many similarities, many of the same experiences may well serve as your answers to the riddles of your life. What are the keys to happiness? Read on and you may find your own key.

In the writing of this book, I have laughed cried and disparaged over its content or whether I could ever accomplish such a task.

Yet;

Here I am, in your hands. All the pain and suffering is counted as nothing compared to how much I wish for you or your loved one to be loved, understood, accepted, and transformed. You might be shocked by some of its content and what it says about me as a person, I do not propose I am anything like perfect; I still face the same battles you do every day. I simply tell my story.

PREFACE

xii

Schizophrenic Journey

What you see is not always, what you get

Garamond: 11pt. Garamond: 12pt. Bold

CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

PREFACE

INTRODUCTION

Having been diagnosed as schizophrenic I experienced the Jesus Christ syndrome. I took on the guilt of the entire world. I took the blame, inside, for the weather, the earthquakes and plane crashes. Reading the book “It has been in me all along”, he was holding me responsible for the river of blood. Feeling that river of blood was (figuratively speaking) all the deaths of the unborn babies of this time; and were my entire fault. I spent years turning that power and responsibility back over to something or someone else.

It is a daily ritual spending hours in my chair listening to music, smoking cigarettes and fighting my way back to reality. It is more than enough for me to just deal with the sins I have committed, let alone everyone else s’ sins and all the mishaps that occur daily throughout the world. For years and even still, I could not even watch the news for fear I would go back into that forbidding place of omnipotent shame and guilt. Sometimes I felt so low about myself that I attempted to end it all by trying to take my own life. To this day, I remember how Victor convicted me about my suicidal thoughts and actions. He told me I had some mitigating Gaul to try to determine that I had the right to determine when I was to leave this world. 2

Over the years, I have also felt people knew I was a strange creation that indeed has powers over such things. I would and still sometimes feel people were sending me messages telepathically, that they wanted me dead. I deserved to die and cast into hell, eternally cut off from Victor.

For me, that would be pure hell, cast to a place all alone and cut off from people. Now that I am trying to live my life as I feel Victor, wants me to I have a lot less trouble realizing people are not sending me messages, not even through other Medias like radio or TV.

Yet today I still have trouble trying to determine good messages from bad messages. I still have trouble knowing when a person or media has a message that clearly needs to be adhered. Another major obstacle is that my mind constantly tells me “That is a sign!”, when I see things that to my mixed-up mind could somehow be a message or portend from Victor. They tell me I have a chemical imbalance in my brain that causes me to lose sight of and grip-on reality. I take three major anti-psychotic medications that are supposed to help eliminate these bad effects from this mental disorder. I refer to my problems, the bad voices as a Phantom Friend

“I hope you do not mind. In addition, my good voices as Victor so as not to offend anyone; these were my good voices though at times I could not tell the difference. As Webster’s puts it a phantom is something that exists but has no physical reality; a ghost”.

In my traverse, I have spoken to many such ghosts. Some friendly, some so abhorrent I would find it hard to put to words, as it only exists in my mind, “so they tell me.” In this book, I shall take you on some of the journeys that trapped me, for that are exactly how I felt in these deep dark underworlds. Please do not be afraid, I will not leave you to the darkness.

Discovering this book has been a lifelong venture. It is not what I once thought it would be. It is evolving as I speak. It is a true story, my story. The experiences described within are surreal, bizarre, and border on insane. With great pains, I undertake a mission to uncover the secrets of a life that until now were unbearable. I would like to take you on a journey.

INTRODUCTION 3 

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Inside the step up club

Find your friends here we all like to hang out and socialize and plan for each other's success. I remember the next organizational meeting is going to be Saturday March 12th 2016 at step up Club 799 Highway 73 south Nekoosa Wisconsin 54457. Also if you are interested in having your business or service marketed and a new clients or increase sales contact us at Osowski publications at the same location thank you. Please comment get help on posts on this blog and share with your friends and family.

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WE

I saw my brother the other day wandering; Just as always.

He is so different than me. Not a rock, but fluid.

He always just road the current and took what that left him. I felt sorrow for him.

Did he feel like a fish out of water?

-I built my life out of sweat and blood.

He lives in the moment, and has his fun.

I happened along one day,

And saw my brother give a street person

His coat,

I felt a tear,

Maybe I did not know him as well as I should,

I thought and was taken aback that day and decided, not to rest my head

until I talked to him.

I went back later and found him talking amongst his Kind.

Yet I hoped he would take some time for me.

This brother, my brother I never knew.

I thought I was there to help him in some way.

What I found that day I cannot say But for my soul, I asked him that day,

to pray; and not leave me without his blessings.

He did not speak nor address my concern for my own soul.

He just sat back and fired up a bowl.

And told me he’d been carrying my soul

And I realized he had reached his own goal,

That not one be left behind.

He inspired me with fire; he is one of a kind.

And now that

Fire inside can live knowing

All is well.

And I am not destined to hell!

So kindle YOUR fire inside, and aspire to know

You,

As well as thy Brother!